Simply Not Simple

I hear the perfect way to live is to live a simple life. At times, that seems best. But other times, it feels too simple as if nothing is happening around me. I am taking this weekend to reflect on my life, my choices, my influences, and my environment. I said to myself I will meditate this weekend and listen within for my next step because I am having a hard time figuring out what I truly want. All sounds easy and simple, right? I have come to realize one thing.. life can be everything but simple. Smelling the flowers, feeling the wind blow, eating three meals a day, working, driving, shopping, smiling, laughing, crying or just breathing.. yes these are simple. What is never spoken of is how we have to constantly reevaluate our life. I don’t know about any of you but for me I cant count how many times I had to check my emotions, stop myself from thinking such ugly thoughts, moving forward three steps just to turn around and look at the past. I have felt overwhelmed with the different choices that I have to make now and the choices that I have made in the past. Because I know the choices that are made today, affects the future. This may excite some people but for others its much pressure. What is the correct choice? Am I being too strict in my life? Where is money for the light bill going to come from? I don’t want to make six figures just enough to cover all my utilities plus life insurance, health insurance, and car insurance. I am still in school, how do I support myself and not go homeless? Life to me starts with questions, leading up to actions but never actually finding the correct answer. In the past, my quest to find what I truly want seemed as simple as picking a career I felt would fit me and my personality. Now, 25 years young, It feels never ending.

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